Turkish Village
Copyright 1965, 1994 Paul Stirling. All rights reserved.
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Page 189
custom, a response to general public expectations, involving that which touches a man most nearly - the honour of his womenfolk. Mercenary motives are not of course absent, but the aim i to appear magnanimous - without spending more than need be. It follows also that the less a man's honour and public face are involved, the more mercenary his behaviour. Thus for dishonoured, divorced, or widowed daughters, a father asks shamelessly what the market will bear, and gives as little as possible in return.
The Choice of a Bride
No formal rules restrict the choice of marriage partners, save only the limited incest rules of Islam. These bar to a man only his lineal descendants and ascendants, his parents' sisters, his own sisters, his siblings' daughters and grand-daughters, his father's wives and widows, their stepdaughters, his wife's mother and son's wife, and his current wife's sisters. The breastfeeding of an infant by a foster mother - not uncommon in village society, which knows no bottle-feeding - forms a link equal to a biological one for the reckoning of incest. No endogamous or exogamous groups exist.
Parents choosing a bride for their son look for honour and efficiency. At least in theory, honour is by far the most important. Any obvious interest in the opposite sex, let alone contact with a boy or man, sullies a girl's reputation. Secondly, she should be healthy and hardworking, thirdly she should be skilful, and fourthly she should be good-tempered and submissive. That is, she should be likely to contribute economically, and unlikely to cause trouble. Explicitly at least, sex appeal and beauty are not considered important.
The finding of a bride for a son is regarded as an important and difficult undertaking. Fathers of daughters are expected to be unwilling to give their daughters away. How far affection and a genuine concern for the daughter's welfare after marriage is a real factor in a father's decision it is extremely difficult to estimate. One man, for example, was reported to have refused his daughter to a widower on the grounds that her children would be overshadowed by his existing male children, and her position in his household therefore lower. Even here
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